Whether your life is great or not so great… it’s your fault!

Sorry to be blunt…and YOU are 100% responsible for your reality! All good and well if your life is happy and blissful, and not so great if you are experiencing a rocky and bumpy ride at the moment.

We look to the outside world to ‘fix us,’ yet you have more choice in creating your reality than you might think.

So imagine the scene, if you will… you meet a friend for lunch and she knocks her coffee all over your business suit. You have no control over what just happened! What happens next will be determined by how you react! You shout and proceed to get angry at your friend for being so clumsy and knocking her cup of coffee over. After all, she should have been more careful. Your friend apologizes but you don’t let up and she bursts into tears. You storm off to rush home and get changed for an afternoon meeting. You drive at break-neck speed, narrowly missing a truck as you run a red light. When you’ve changed and got back in your car to head to your meeting, you realize you’ve left your briefcase at the coffee shop. You finally get to the meeting 30 minutes late and it doesn’t go well. As the afternoon continues, it seems to get worse and worse.

Why did you have a bad afternoon?

  1. Was it because of the spilt coffee?

  2. Was it your friend?

  3. Was it the traffic light?

  4. Or is it because of you?

Of course the answer is d, because of how you chose to react. You had no control over what happened at the coffee shop. However, how you reacted immediately after the coffee was spilt is what caused your bad afternoon.

Let me give you another scenario; you meet your friend for lunch and she spills her coffee all over your suit. While I suspect you probably wouldn’t lean over and thank her, you could tell her ‘it’s ok’ and that she should be more careful next time. The waiter brings you a towel and you get your things together to go home and change. You also call your next appointment to let them know you may be a few minutes late, thereby arriving calm, cool and looking fresh. The meeting goes well and you enjoy the rest of your day.

Two different scenarios! Both started the same. Both ended differently. Why? Because you chose how you reacted! You chose how you responded to an experience and created a completely different result.

We are consciously and unconsciously creating our lives as we go along by how we choose to interpret what we experience, how we choose to feel about that interpretation, and how we choose to act as a result.

Every year thousands of people across the globe attend courses and buy books on goal setting, goal getting and personal achievement. Yet they never reach their true potential or put into practice the tools and techniques that they have learned because they simply go back to the way they’ve always done things and the way they have always responded and reacted in situations. They choose the same ‘food,’ so to speak, from the menu of life. As they get older, they then wonder why their life is not quite the way they imagined when they were younger. No doubt most of them settle for second best and get trapped and lulled into complacency. Does this sound like you?

So the responsibility for change lies completely, totally, one hundred percent with the person who wants and needs to make the change.   Not with the coach, not with the therapist, not with the manager, not with the friend, not with the sales person, not with the trainer, but with the person who needs and wants to make the change. And yes, wouldn’t it be great if someone else could do your push ups for you!

I often feel the title ‘trainer’ or ‘teacher’ is actually a misnomer. You cannot teach anybody anything. Teachers and trainers open the door to possibilities and it is up to you if you choose to learn.

Responsibility for results lies with YOU!

Once you take responsibility for the results you get in your life and realize that you are creating your life, it gives you the power to change. You can choose to pay attention to different things. You can choose to interpret your experiences differently, and you can choose to feel and act differently if your friend spills her cup of coffee over you.

Perhaps you’ve heard that saying, ‘you can lead the horse to water and you can’t make them drink!’

Well, here’s the deal. If you do not really want to change, there is absolutely nothing I can do or anyone else can do.  If you want to change somebody’s mind and they don’t want to change their mind nothing you say or do will work because the responsibility for change lies 100 percent with the person making the change.  

Are you playing 100%? Are you supporting your success or sabotaging yourself.

Whether you are conscious of it or not, all that exists in your life right now, you have attracted to you. Blaming others for your reality or the situations that challenge you is really a form of giving away your power and not taking responsibility or ownership of your creations. Responsibility acknowledges that somehow, some way, consciously or unconsciously you have radiated the energy outward to magnetize the very vibration of the exact situation you are in right now. This includes all things that are present in your reality and the current relationships you are experiencing.

Remember, your outer world is a reflection of your thoughts, feelings, energy, vibration and the frequency that you emit into the world. If you’re not happy with where you are now, then congratulate yourself because your current circumstances are igniting within you the desire to create something different. YOU have the power to CHOOSE to create a better reality!


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